


Where's the happy end?

by Misuntitled



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fingerfucking, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-01 05:03:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2760650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misuntitled/pseuds/Misuntitled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You loose your dad after a vampire hunt. Because of this pain you start cutting yourself. At first you feel better, but then you can't stand the loneliness any longer. You decide to go to a bar and drink very much. Drunken you doesn't feel pain.</p><p>At this bar you see Sam for the first time and he has a good influence on you. Sam takes care of you and you start to hunt with Sam and Dean. You really love Sam and you wait for the right chance to show him and it ends with smut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sad reality

**Author's Note:**

> Well, english isn't my mother tongue. Maybe there are some mistakes in my writing. I hope that it's not that bad ;-)

Your whole family were hunters and you grew up with those monster things. Since you was a child you knew what salt circles are for. And you also knew why your father looked if there was a monster under your bed or in your cupboard. Your childhood was definetly not normal. Your father taught you everything he knew and learned from his own father. Learning facts about monsters was just like a school subject for you. But you always wanted to hunt. Just listening to those monster stories and learning facts about creatures was so boring. You enjoyed the good feeling you always have when you can help.   
Your father never wanted to get you into trouble. He did his best to let you lead a normal life. But he soon had to accept that you want to lead a hunter’s life. When you turned 14, it was the first time he took you with him on a hunt. A simple werewolf hunt. Since that he let you come with him, if it wasn’t a very complicated or dangerous case. Most of the time when you begged to come with him, he said “no”. He really cared about you and you were pretty sure, that he didn’t know if he should be proud of you for being a hunter or sad because you will never have a normal life. Anyway, he accepted your decision. 

Today’s case is just a vampire thing. It won’t be that dangerous and your father agreed to let you come with him. Even now when you are 22 years old (definitely not a child) you let him decide if you could go with him. He always needs to have the control over a situation. Every time the two of you go on a hunt, you are kind of excited and also a little happy. Which is strange, considering the fact that you are about to kill something. However, you are never really afraid.  
Eventually, your father parks the car in front of an old warehouse in the middle of nowhere. “A big warehouse for a single vampire?”, you think, as you step in through the entrance at the front side. You do your best to be quiet but the rusty, heavy door was no help. You assure yourself that the noise you made did neither wake up a vampire nor anything else. Your father takes the door at the backside. You walk along a cold and dark corridor, which leads you to a big hall. In the middle of the hall there was kind of a bed and your victim, the vampire was sleeping there. Quietly you step forward to the sleeping vampire and you kill him with your machete. Blood splatters on your shirt and the vampire’s head rolls to your feet. Your lips form a smile, which shows your pride. You made it! You are about to walk outside to the car...

Suddenly a scream cuts the silence. You are a little confused and shocked at the same time. Looking back at the vampire’s head, which is on the floor, you realize that obviously there must be more than just one vampire. You run in the direction, where the scream came from. A few blood stains are on the floor. Fresh blood! And you can’t believe your eyes as you see your father’s dead body. The vampires must have drunken his blood until he finally died. Your mouth falls open, tears are streaming down your face, you sink to your knees and can’t help but scream and cry. You want to have control of your body and show that you’re strong. No way! You put your hands up to cover your face. You can’t believe what had happened. A few times you control if you could feel his pulse, though he don’t move. It must be a bad dream. You beg, that it is a dream. But as you can’t wake up, you realize that this is your sad reality. Your screams get louder and even more tears are streaming down your face. Why your father? Why does everyone around you die?  
You sob, but you stand up again. Then you realize, that the vampires must be around. They must be alive! You run outside, but you are alone. Complete silence. Except the warehouse and a road, there are just fields and little farms. The landscape looks ironically peaceful. You don’t know what you should do, so you jump into the car and drive away. You can’t think clearly, but you just have to leave this place.

Looking through the car window, you see that it gets darker and darker. You keep on driving. You want to drive until you could think clearly. You don’t even think about a place to stay. Home? You don’t have a real home. Just a place, where you come from. The last few years, your home were motel rooms in different countries and cities or your dad’s car. Where your home is depends on where people need help. You don’t have any good friends to go to. It is normal for you that you always leave everyone you meet. You have nothing and no one cares about you.   
Again tears are streaming down your face. So many tears fill up your eyes, that you hardly see the street whilst driving. You decide to stop at the next motel. Sleep and a shirt with no blood stains is what you need. This blood reminds you of your father’s blood, which was spread around the floor. 

There it is. A motel, called “Sunside motel”. You wipe away all your tears and put on sunglasses. No one should see that you were crying. You take your bag from the backseat and walk to the reception desk. A friendly young lady gives you your room keys. She was so friendly, that you want to smile back. But you are unable to smile. As you enter the room, you let your bag drop on the floor and you let yourself drop on the bed in the middle of the tiny room. It was very comfortable, considering that it was a bed in a cheap motel. Without moving you lie there. You are so tired and shut your eyes. But you can’t sleep. You try it several times but every time you fall asleep, you see your father’s dead body. This dead body lying on the floor. The cold floor, which is covered with your dad’s blood. You wake up and pant for air. You breath really hard and you are sweating.  
You keep yourself from having this nightmare by preventing yourself from sleeping. You stand up and enter the bath room. The hot shower should wash away your pain. You always imagine, that showers don’t only wash away the dirt, but also your pain and sorrow. This time it doesn’t help. You think that you deserve the pain. Your father was killed because you didn’t help him. You were too busy smiling. You were happy because of killing one vampire, while your father had to fight against a few other vampires.   
As you stay in the shower, you want to shave yourself. But you decide to do something, you have never did before. You cut yourself deliberately! You slide those thin razor blades a few times over your wrist. You watch how the blood drops fall down from your left arm. The hole shower is blood-red. But you don’t feel pain. You feel nothing. You are numb and carry on cut yourself. You always said, that you would never harm yourself. But you changed your mind. You think that you deserve this pain.

The following night was the first night, you manage to sleep without waking up because of nightmares. The incisions on your wrist are clearly visible. You don’t care. In contrast! You keep on cutting yourself. It is like a bad habit. There are more and more scars covering your skin. From your elbow to your wrist there are so many scars, that you hardly see your skin. But something starts to hurt you. The pain comes back. It was no pain because of these incisions, but because of this loneliness. You stayed in your room for a few days and you didn't even go out to eat, as you do usually. You ate the food, which was in your bag. Now you need to go out. You can't stand this loneliness anymore. Maybe you could drive to a bar and drink so much, that you feel numb. To avoid comments, you cover your scars with a long blue blouse. You put everything in your bag and checked out of the motel. You could still sleep in your car. You need change. You need to continue hunting. You are born to save people and hunt things. Just like father did.  
And so you drive out of this little town and soon you are in another town. This town isn’t bigger than the other one, but the streets and houses look more attractive. Another few minutes later, you find a bar. This bar is your chance to get drunk. Drunk you is normally happy and going out will keep you from cutting yourself.   
 


	2. Your way out of loneliness

You enter the bar and order a whiskey. You can’t remember the last time you were in a bar. You can't even remember the last time you were drunk. It’s definitely a long time ago. Getting drunk is now the solution to your problem. It's your plan for the night. When your blood turns into alcohol you may forget about your pain. It works often. You never want to show weakness. Everything inside you seems broken and those incisions show how broken you are. You always remember yourself to not let anyone else see these scars. Why should you let anyone know about your pain? You want to be strong and independent, not as weak as you were at the warehouse. Your father wouldn’t want you to cry. He would like to see his little girl happy. Thinking clearly seems impossible at the moment. 

The good looking bartender hands you one Jack Daniels after another. You flirt a little with him and you try to smile. It is hard for you, but your lips manage to form a smile. The first smile after more than a week. It feels so strange but somehow good. Your father would be proud of you. You feel already slightly better. Maybe you find someone to spend the night with. Your eyes wander through the crowded bar. So many handsome men. You giggle. You stopped moving your head, As you spotted a man, reading the newspapers. Although you are drunk, you can clearly read the headline “Strange murder in a warehouse”. 

It was the warehouse, where you and your father hunted the vampire. Is this even possible? The warehouse is in the middle of nowhere. Once again you are recalling the incident in the warehouse. In your mind you see those blood again. So much blood spread around your dad's body. Without thinking you walk slowly towards that man, who reads the newspapers. You need to read it. The sits on a table with another guy at about the same age. He must be around thirty. You stand behind this man and read the article. He must think that you are curious. A strange person, who is rich enough to go to bars but has too little money to buy herself the newspapers. You don't care what he may thinks about you.

Reading the article makes you extremely sad. You would like to be numb. But the alcohol doesn’t seem to work at all. You feel the pain flowing to your body. It feels as if your blood has been replaced by pain. The man turns his head to you and asks if you are okay. He must realize the sad look in your face. You don’t answer. You can't. All the strength you have, is now used to keep yourself from crying. You do your best but you can’t stop a little tear drop from rolling down your left cheek, as you see the photograph of your dad’s dead body. You feel embarrassed and run out of the bar. What are you doing? You are weak. Too weak. Nearly stumbling you find yourself at the parking lot, where your car is. 

You see everything blurred. It is hard to say, if it is the reason of the alcohol you drank or because your eyes are filled with tears. Probably both. You hear footsteps behind you. Is someone following you? You turn around very fast, gripping your silver knife instinctively. You are prepared to kill whatever had followed you. As you see that it was just the man with the newspapers, you let your knife drop. You don’t want to shock that stranger. He might thinks that you managed to escape the loony bin. First, you stand very close behind him to read his newspapers, second, you run away without any obvious reasion and finally, you are about to attack him with your knive.  
What's the matter with you?  
The man doesn’t react the way you thought he would. You expect him to be scared, but he stays there calmly. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you are a hunter?” he asked a little surprised as he sees the knife hitting the ground. “He must be a hunter too. He knows that I’m a hunter”, you thought. Is this possible? You have never ever met another hunter. You can’t say a word. Why don't you talk to him? He comes closer to you. You just stand there as if you were frozen. Why can’t you move? Why does he come closer to you? When the man stands in front of you, he bends his knees to pick your knife up. 

As he kneels there right in front of you to pick up your knife, you see this beautiful hazel eyes. Sweet puppy eyes meet your eyes. Although you are drunk you see him clearly. He’s so close to you. His hair is rather long and brown. Your eyes wander down to his full lips, which form such a friendly smile. You feel yourself melting inside. He’s very good looking. Your cheeks get a little red, while you are thinking about this man.  
You see, that he is still holding your knife and you eventually grip it. “Thank you. I’m _____. and yes, I'm a hunter.” you said. Finally you can speak! A little succes. But this moment was still a little akward. 

“My name is Sam”, the man answers. You shake his hand and your eyes meet his again. You don’t dare to look at him. Maybe he would think that you gaze at him. You are so insecure. What's wrong with you? Normally you don't act like this.  
“Well. I’ll go now”, you say, looking for your car keys. You take them out of your pocket and start walking towards your car. Sam is still standing there in front of you.  
“Do you really want to drive? You are way too drunk. You can hardly walk.” he says and chuckles.  
You smile. Why do you smile? You just tried to stop yourself from crying and now you are smiling? This man is confusing you.  
After a little pause you said “Maybe you are right. I am a little drunk.”  
“A little drunk?”, he laughed “You are extremely drunk”.  
The two of you laughed together. Maybe this is what you need. Your loneliness is definetely gone!


	3. Lucky you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally a smutty chapter ;-) and it's much longer than the first and second chapter

As you open your eyes you find yourself in a room, where you have never been before. A motel room maybe? It’s definitely not the car you planned to sleep in. You try to recover what had happened yesterday. What did happen after you talked to this nice stranger, called Sam? You really have a hangover! But surprisingly enough, you don't have a headache.

Suddenly somebody knocks on the door. “Come in.”, you say and yawn. The door opens and Sam steps inside the room, saying “Good morning. Breakfast is ready and I also have a cup of coffee for you”. He hands you the cup and sits down next to you. You are at Sam’s place? You can’t remember going home with him. A complete stranger taking care of you?   
“Thank you. Thank you for all this.”, you say holding the cup tightly. He is so nice and he looks better than the night before! If this is even possible. A beautiful dream after your nightmare in the warehouse?

“What did happen after our little conversation at the parking lot?” you ask slightly smiling “I can’t remember anything, that had happened after that.”  
“I’ll tell you”, Sam says, waving back a friendly smile.“Well you were looking for a place to sleep and we offered you stay at ours...”  
You cut him off, asking “staying at OUR place?”  
“Yes. Me and my brother, Dean. We live here in this bunker.”  
You are relived. It would be a shame if he shared a house with a woman. Especially, when this woman isn’t you. You are also a little surprised that these hunters live in a bunker. You have never met any other hunters but you expected hunter’s to live in houses like normal people.   
“Oh, you really have a hangover”, Sam says grinning after a little pause. “Let’s eat something and then I’ll answer your questions.”

You agree and the two of you stand up to walk to the bunker’s kitchen. As you pass the mirror you ask a little surprised “What am I wearing?” and you point at the shirt, which was definitely not yours. It was big enough to fit you as a dress. “You asked me, if I lent you a shirt”, he said. You wanted a place to stay and wished for a shirt to sleep. You shake your head, as you realize how drunk you must have been yesterday night. You went home with a complete stranger, stayed at his home for the night and asked for a shirt. Normally you don’t trust strangers. This time trusting a stranger seems to be a good decision. Especially when the stranger is as beautiful as Sam.

You follow Sam. Then, you find yourself in a rather big room with a big table, surrounded by chairs. You admire the building you are in. the bunker looks big, modern and very comfortable. Then you take in the scent of pancakes. Somebody must be cooking.   
“I guess, this is your brother,” you say, pointing at Dean, who is making pancakes. He’s also very handsome but in another way than Sam. Dean has this bad boy look.   
He turns around to face you and said “Hey _______. You have already met me yesterday. I guess, you drank a little too much. And yes, I’m Dean”; he said slightly smiling. Dean hands you a plate with pancakes and you were really grateful.

You sit down at the big table next to Sam. Dean joins you. You are so hungry and the good scent of pancakes is driving you insane. You can’t even remember when you had eaten the last time. As you taste the first bit, you realize that these pancakes are much better than you had expected. You moan at the good taste and you receive a chuckle from Dean as answer. Maybe Dean is a womanizer but he cooks like a chef. 

While eating, you say that you’ll go back to the parking lot at the bar. Your car must still be there. “You gave me your car keys, yesterday night”, Dean said “your car is outside”. You walk towards him and hug him. What you are doing? You stop immediately and you blush a little. Why are you so stupid? Why did you hug him? You are a stranger and they are strangers. Even if they are nice, they don’t know you. But either way, you really appreciate it.   
You run outside the door to take your bags out of the car. 

A hot shower and fresh clothes are everything you want. After going out and drinking you feel as dirty as after a hunt. And you are as exhausted. Finally, the hot water falls down on your naked skin. Hot water was nothing familiar to you. Motel showers are always cold or warm, but never hot. You enjoy every second you stay in the shower. You wash yourself and as you pass your arm with the scars you keep recalling the situation, when you first cut yourself. A little tear rushes down your face, soon followed by other tear drops. Why did you cut yourself? Your scars will stay there forever! Sooner or hopefully later someone will ask you stupid questions about those cuts.  
After a little while you step outside the steamy shower to dry your skin and hair and put your clothes on. You let out a last sob and push those sad feelings away. Now, you really want to know, what had happened the night before. You decide to look for Sam.

You walk into the kitchen. It’s one of the few rooms you already where in. You don’t want to sneak around, since you are just a guest. Dean is in the kitchen and seems to look for something. As he hears footsteps, he turns around and asks you if he could help you.   
“Where is Sam?”  
“He’s in the library, doing some research.”  
“You have a library?! This bunker is very well equipped!”  
“Yes, we have a library. I show you where it is.”  
“Thank you.”, you say and Dean leads you to another room with lots of books and a big table in the middle.   
The table was just slightly smaller than the one in the kitchen. You have never ever seen such a big private library. You love reading and you admire the room. The whole bunker, or at least the rooms you saw are amasing. It’s something special and you feel as if you enter a new world. 

Your eyes are locked on the table. Newspapers are spread around and Sam sits on a chair with his laptop in front of him and a book in his lap. “Hey ____.”, Sam greeted without looking up. “He doesn’t greet his brother?” you thought. As you turn your head again, you see that Dean had left. How could Sam know that Dean had already left? You didn't even know, although Dean was staying next to you. Hunter’s instinct?

“Hallo, Sam. You said that you would answer my questions. Do you have a few seconds for me? I could also ask later.”. You smile slightly but Sam’s eyes are still fixed on the book.  
“I think I have a little time for you.”  
Now he looks up and your eyes meet his cute puppy eyes. Oh those eyes are so beautiful! But you look away very soon. You don’t want to stare at him. Or at least you don’t want him to think that you are gazing at him.   
“Thank you, Sam. What did happen after our conversation at the parking lot? I really forgot lots of things.”  
“Well my brother joined our conversation. After nearly an hour it got really cold and we went home. You said that your car was your home but as we offered you to stay with us, you agreed. The conversation we had was about a vampire hunt...”  
You cut him off, asking “I told you this story?”   
Your face darkened a little. Sadness rushes through your body. Does a little alcohol turn you into an open book? Obviously...

“Well, I don’t think that you had finished it. But you said that you knew the man, who was killed there in the warehouse. This was the reason why you came over to read the article. Dean and I, we said that we were about to hunt this vampire.”  
“It’s no single vampire. It’s a group. This man, who was killed there is my father. Well, actually he was my father...” A sob follows your words. You don’t want to cry. You are strong! You need to be! Before you could carry on with your words, Sam stretches his arm and strokes over your chin and cheeks. “It’s okay”, he says and smiles at you. He seems to care about you.   
“My father and I, we also thought, that it was one vampire. But it was a group. I killed one but the other vampires managed to flee.” You sob again, trying not to cry again.   
“I feel very sorry for you.” Sam says and he looks very concerned.   
Your eyes start to fill with tears. This time you need to be strong. You don’t want to cry in front of Sam.

“What did happen after this conversation in the bar?” you asked to distract yourself from recalling the warehouse-incident.  
“We went to Dean’s car. You handed him the keys of your car. I don’t know why. I guess you were just totally drunk. We went home to our bunker. You said that normally you don’t go home with strangers, but you will come with us, if you could have a shirt for the night. You must have been very tired. You fell asleep at the backseat of the car. I carried you to the room you slept in.”  
“Normally, I just fall asleep in my own car.”  
“But not while driving, I hope”, he says and the two of you laughed. Laughing with other’s is one thing, you missed for a long time. It feels so good. You love being near Sam.  
 

 

 

It had been nearly a year, since the boys and you had killed the other warehouse-vampires. They demand to hunt the vampires with you, so you could finish this chapter. And it really helped you to handle this pain. At first, you were a little sceptical, but you soon found your strength again and carried on hunting.

Since this hunt you live in the bunker with the boys. You can’t remember why exactly they offered you to stay in the bunker. You thought that you were just a guest, living there while hunting these vampires. Now the bunker is your home and the room you slept in the first night is your room. You were no stranger anymore. In contrast, you are very good friends and a hunting trio. The boys play around with you and you go to bars with them after successful hunts. They are like a family for you. You feel safe when you are near them.

Castiel is also part of your new family. When you first met him, you thought that he was a human. He looked as if he was one. Your mouth dropped open, as the boys told you he was an angel. You knew lots of things about monsters. But angels? You couldn’t believe that they were real until you met him. Cas is so adorable, when he doesn’t understand simple human things. He is sometimes like a little child, but extremely strong and has a good heart. He told you everything you wanted to know about angels and it remembers you of the lessons you had with your father. Your father told you facts about creatures and you listened interested. It’s just the same with Cas.   
Cas is also the only one who knows about your crush on Sam. You trust him. Cas said that you should try to hook up the next time, when you are at a bar. Alcohol would make it easier. It was a silly idea, you thought. But you agreed and promised, that you would at least try it.

Today, you went on another case with the boys. A werewolf-thing a few miles away. Nothing important and so the hunt was over very fast. Another successful hunt and another reason to go to a nearby bar. You giggle at the thought. You love going to bars with the boys. This time Cas goes with you to support you. How could you hook up with Sam? You hope, that Cas won’t tell Sam, how you feel about him. You want Sam to find out during the evening or night at the bar. But you had no exact plan. Normally your mind is more creative when you are drunk. Hopefully you make it.

Well. First, you need a perfect outfit. What could you wear to show skin without looking like a whore? Soon you find your black high heels and decide to wear a black leather jacket and a black dress, which is tight and ends mid thigh. The outfit fits you perfectly. You really want to impress the boys. Especially Sam. This just-friend-thing was never what you really wanted. You liked him from the moment you saw him the first time. 

The second step is to present your outfit perfectly. The four of you meet at the garage and you have a little plan. Sam and Cas are already there waiting. You walk slowly with your hips swaying. Your walk must look sexy. At least you try your best. You can’t believe it! Sam checks you up. Your plan seems to work well.  
You aren't able to say anything. This isn't your best idea, actually...  
You had to wait for Dean, who was late again. As he finally walks over to you, he says “You look damn good! Is today a special day?”.   
“I hope so”, you said with a grin and jumped in the backseat.   
Cas sits already in the car’s backseat next to you. You blink at him to show him that the first two steps were already done. Cas doesn’t seem to understand your blink. He looked confused. How sweet the angle is at this moment. 

Dean drives the four of you to a nearby bar. To get some dirty, creative ideas you need to get drunk. This is step number three. You drink several shots of whiskey and a few beers. Then, Dean has the idea to play drinking games. It was nearly impossible for you to understand the game rules. You drink, when Dean tells you to do so. The four of you laughed together and had little conversations. Everyone drinks and the later it gets, the more drunk all of you are. Okay, not all of you. The angel doesn’t get drunk so easily. That's the reason why Cas drives you normally home.

You sit on the opposite side of the table than Sam. You want to show Sam that you like him. But how? Your drunken mind has a nice idea for the beginning. You smirked at thinking about your step number four. But when should you start? When is the right time? You count to ten, breathe sharply and then you start. You are very insecure. Though, you give it a try.

You slip your right foot out of the high heel. You push it forward to touch Sam’s foot. He may thinks that it’s just accidentally. But you keep on rubbing your foot against his. Slowly you wander upwards. As you reach his knee, you make little circles. But your foot’s destination is the part between his inner thighs. You stretch your foot a little further and kneed his thighs.   
You are concentrated but you feel good as you see the grin in Sam’s face. His eyes shut and they keep closed for several seconds. He must like it. Now your foot wanders between his inner thighs and you stretch your leg until you touch that bulge, which is building under his pants. You smile mischievously and see how Sam’s eyes shut again. This time he presses his lips together. Maybe to hold back a growl. You hope so.   
You start moving your foot a little and Sam bites his lower lip. “If he bites a little harder, he may bleeds” you think. But you aren’t about to stop. In contrast, you moved faster and faster and you used more pressure. You feel him getting harder and harder. You love this good feeling. Even if you would prefer having his hard member freed and inside you.   
Sometimes your drunken mind has little dirty ideas. You enjoy every second and move your foot quicker and quicker. You need to feel him. Sam’s breath gets harder and harder but he does his best to not let anyone know. He wants to hide his pleasure.   
But it’s impossible. He bites his lips so hard to keep himself from making a sound. Suddenly, Dean looks at his younger brother and asks him, if he was okay. Dean looks concerned and you burst out laughing and pull your foot back to you.   
“Yes. I’m fine”, Sam says and blushes a little.

You manage to put your shoe on without using your hands. This is a little success, considering you are drunk. You smile innocently at the other’s sitting around the table. You always play that innocent girl.  
Your plan works so well. You can’t stop yourself from grinning. You jump of your chair and walk in the middle of the crowded bar, swinging your hips. Maybe a few sexy dance moves could be your step five. As you start walking through the bar, the people part. You feel that most men are eying your ass as you pass them. “Hopefully Sam does the same as they do” you think and chuckle. Your dress is really well chosen. The black material covers your delicate curves perfectly. It should help you to impress Sam.

You start to shake your hips to the sound of the music. You can’t even dance but it doesn’t matter. Several men try to dance with you. You just play a little with them. The one you want is sitting at a table. Wait! The one you want WAS sitting at the table. “Where is he?” you wonder as you turn your head to look for Sam. 

You can’t believe it, but Sam is only a few meters away and walks towards you. Maybe he liked what you did with your foot and wants some more. Slowly he steps forward. He smirked the way you did as you touched his bulge with your foot. You keep recalling it.   
Sam takes slow predatory steps. And this turns you even more on. The crowd also parts as Sam walks towards you. Maybe because he is extremely tall and strong. You can see his muscles through his tight shirt. You enjoy what you see, but you act as if you didn’t watch him the whole time. 

Suddenly two big hands grip you from behind. At the size of the hands you can say that it must be Sam. He pulls you a little back with his hands now resting at your waist. This strong hands hold you and prevent you from falling, while being pulled back. The feeling of this warm and strong body behind you makes you shiver in pleasure. Your body touches his and you feel your underwear getting wet. Sam is holding you so tightly. You would always recognise him and his strong, big hands. “You were such a little tease at the table”, he whispered in your ear. You shrug as you feel his warm breath in your neck and you could smell the scent of alcohol. A mixture of whiskey and beer. Thinking about such meaningless things causes you to giggle. This little moment is just perfect. You wish to stay forever in his arms. This moment should never end. 

You stopped thinking about this as Sam keeps on talking. “What did you do at the table with your foot? Well. I liked it but I never thought that you little innocent girl would do such things.” Sam says grinning. His warm breath in your neck drives you insane.   
“Well. I was looking for my shoe and as you can see, I have found it.”, you said playfully and manage to make a dirty looking smile.   
“I know what game you are playing. But I’m not sure if you are ready for my payback.”

Slowly you turn around to face Sam. You need to see those beautiful hazel eyes again. His hands wander down to your ass. He grabs you and you feel the warmth and wetness between your legs grow. This man is driving you crazy. You take the chance to get even closer to him. You tangle your arms around his neck and whisper in his ear “Well show me your payback.” You watch his lips forming a mischievous smile. Maybe this is really going to be your night. 

You look into those beautiful puppy eyes of him. You move slowly closer to his face and he cups your face with his big hands. You close your eyes and he leans in to kiss you. But in this moment another man hustles you and you stumble and are about to fall down. Sam grips you and helps you up, before you touch the floor. Even though, Sam holds you and you adore it, you turn very angry. A stranger destroyed your opportunity to kiss your crush.  
“Asshole” you shouted at the man who hustled you. Sam is still holding you. He strokes your back, trying to calm you down. You shrug his hands off because you don’t want to seem week. You want him to care about you as long as you don’t seem week. You are angry and deceived at the same time. And why did you shrug Sam’s hands off? Everything is now a little too much for you.

“It’s okay” Sam says, as he sees the look in your eyes “What about going back to the bunker? We could party there as well.” You want to be that strong girl and tease him. You adore it, when somebody begs you for something. Now you let Sam hold you again and your face lights up. Sam is so caring. He doesn't deserve to be rejected.

At the same moment Dean comes over to the two of you, saying “Cas and me, we are about to go now.”  
“We won’t stay either” you say and blink at Sam. You walk to the bar entrance, still holding his hand. Your fingers and his fingers are entwined and it feels extremely good.   
The four of you walk to the parking lot, where Dean had parked the Impala. Cas is the only one, who is sober enough to drive. Dean sits in the front seat and you and Sam share the backseat. Whilst sitting in the car you imagine what you could do with Sam. You think about laying your head in his lap, slowly unbuttoning his jeans and you could continue what you have started with your foot in the bar but this time using your mouth. Dean would kill you. He loves his Impala and this would be way too much for him. So you keep being quiet and holding Sam's hand. Fingers still entwined.

Cas parks the car in the bunker’s garage. What should you do now? Before you could think clearly, Sam jumps out of the car and let go of your hand. A sad look is now in your face but it's soon replaced by a grin. Sam walks around the car to help you out of it like a gentleman. You smile and walk with him to the nearest room. His room. While walking you stumble again. You might need to practice walking in high heels whilst drunk. But every time you stumble, those beautiful, strong hands grab you. Stumbling is worth it, if someone like Sam holds you to preserve you from falling. Sam lifted you up and carried you to his room. His arms are tightly wrapped around your hot body. No words are needed to make this moment perfect.   
You ignore Dean and Cas, who seem to find the whole situation a little amusing. 

Sam opens the door to his room, still holding you in his arm. You put your high heels off and Sam lets you down on the floor.  
He steps even closer to you. You want to play with him and walk backwards. Suddenly you feel your legs touching Sam’s bed. Sam pushes you gently a little backwards, so that you sit on the bed. He kneels in front of the bed and touches your knees with his big hands. You shiver and put the pillow behind you to relax. You lie back and Sam hovers over you. He grips your hipbones gently. You close your eyes and lean a little forward to meet his lips half way. As your lips join his lips you feel the heat. It’s such a passionate kiss, you can feel the sparks fly. You don’t want to take your lips away from his. His tongue touches your teeth and as you moan at the gentle kiss turning rougher and rougher he seized the opportunity to brush his tongue into your mouth. His tongue is everywhere in your mouth and you moan even louder. No one has ever kissed you this way. It’s more intimate than a normal kiss. At least more intimate as every kiss you had ever shared. Then, both of you break away to pant for air. It was such a heated kiss, that you nearly forgot to breath.

He kisses you again and again, which causes you to moan softly. It’s a fight of tongues and you let Sam win to let him lead. You don’t know why but you imagine his lips being at your cunt licking your wet folds. You wish for more. You put your hands at Sam’s chest, feeling his muscles. This man is driving you insane! You put your hands down at his shirt’s hem to signal that you want him to put it out. While putting his shirt out, you interrupt the kiss for a few seconds. Then, you touch his bare torso and his skin feels great under your hands. He’s so hot. Sam puts your shirt over your head and tosses it carelessly in a corner of his room.   
“You look gorgeous”, Sam says and starts placing kisses all over your chest and stomach. He touches your nipples through the thin fabric of your bra. You moan loudly and arch your back a little. This was the opportunity for Sam to unclasp your bra and he throws it away very fast. 

One of his hands wander to your hipbone and strokes over your anti-possession-tattoo. You tangle your legs around him to feel his bare chest over your bare chest. You want him as close as possible. Two hot, sweaty bodies and sparks fly everywhere. You feel the bulge building under his jeans. You move slightly upwards to grind against his denim covered length. Both of you growl at the good feeling. You feel the parts between your legs getting even warmer and wetter. Without anyone touching your bare cunt.

Sam kisses you again and rolls your nipples softly between his thumbs and index fingers. You feel your nipples harden extremely fast. You never felt anything hotter than this. His hot kisses swallow your moans. He places passionate kisses on your neck and bites your sensitive skin. He’s carefully when he uses his teeth. Sam doesn’t want to hurt you. You dig your nails in his shoulders and moan loudly. You need him! “S-s-am! I n-e-eed you i-i-nside me!” you stutter. You breathe heavily. 

He whispers in your neck “You teased me at the bar, using your foot. Now it’s my turn to tease you a little”. He moves his head to one of your nipples and starts sucking the sensitive flesh. This feels damn good! While sucking your nipple, Sam uses his hands to unbutton your jeans and put the zipper down. You can’t stop moaning. Your hips buckle and you need to feel his hard member as he hovers over you. 

Slowly Sam kissed his way down to your stomach again. Then, he places little kisses on your hips and finally he puts your underwear down, using his teeth. It feels so hot. He cuppes your sex with one of his hands, saying “You’re so wet! And it’s all for me!”.  
Your underwear joins the other clothes on the floor. First, he places another sweet and soft kiss over your clit. You let out a little cry because of this good feeling. Slowly he slides his long finger through your already wet folds. He slides them up and down. You breathe harder and harder and moan at the pleasure. Suddenly his tongue starts swirling around your clit. He licks and sucks and makes little circles. You whimper softly. As his tongue moves slowly into you, it causes you to cry again. It feels so good! After a few thrusts, his tongue wanders back to your clit and he moves one of his long fingers inside you. You sometimes fingered yourself but this is nothing compared to Sam’s skilled, big fingers. He adds another finger and thrusts into you. He hits that sweet spot, causing you to moan and whimper loudly. His fingers are much longer and thicker than yours. The muscles in your stomach tighten and you scream loudly “Sam! Ohhh Sam!” Your cry sounds like a prayer to him.   
You cum hard on his fingers and Sam enjoys as much as you do. As he pulls away, you can see your juices around his mouth. He looks a little funny, you sit up, put your hands to his chin and kiss him. Your lips crash against his. You can taste yourself and it really turns you on. 

Now you want to have the control over the situation. You push him back, so he lies there and you sit on his hipbones.   
“I guess it’s my turn now.” You say and you smirk. You unbutton Sam’s jeans, sliding his jeans and boxers down. His cock is quiet hard and springs free. He’s so big and you place a kiss at the tip of his leaking cock. Sam growls and you keep on sucking his hard member. The sounds he make let you know that he likes it. You use one hand to rub over the part, which doesn’t fit into your mouth. Sam tangled his fingers in your hair. You don’t want him to cum like this. You want him to cum inside you. You need him inside you.

Sam’s back rests in the mattress and you move forward to kiss him. Passionate, wild, hot kisses! Your hips settle down touching the tip of his length. Oh, you love teasing this man and he lets out a growl. His tip is glistening and your extremely wet entrance turns both of you on. Slowly you sit down to ride his cock. He stretches your inner walls and you need to adjust. Your lips crash against his lips again. Your arms are tangled around his neck and you start moving a little. First, you move slowly and gentle but then, your pace gets faster and faster. Your hips move together with Sam's hips and he pops out and thrusts into you a few times. The thrusts harden as his pace gets faster and faster. He hits your sweet spot with every thrust. The two of you breath harder and harder, panting for air. You cum again and this time even harder than at his fingers. Sam cums with you and you ride out your orgasm. Your walls tighten and tighten and finally Sam’s hot seeds fill you up. Both of you are shouting each other’s names. Kissing does no longer help to swallow the moans and growls. A few hard thrusts later, Sam puts out and you lie down next to him. Chests are moving up and down as you two try to calm down after your high.

This was so hot! Sam hugs you and you move one leg between his legs and lay your head on his hot chest. Now you are on top of him and you feel very comfortable. Sam places a kiss at your forehead and rubs your back with one hand. You feel so good, when another warm body is touching you. All your dreams came true and it was even better than you had imagined. With the other hand Sam reaches for the blanket to cover the two of you. You fall asleep next to this strong man holding you in his arms. You have never slept better than tonight. This night was really gorgeous!


	4. The morning after the night before ;-)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up in Sam's strong arms. It's a nice morning until Sam sees the cuts on your arm and asks about them.

As you open your eyes you blink a few times. You have to adjust your eyes to the light, after they were used to the darkness. However, this time you didn’t forget anything because of drinking. You remember really everything. Not like the first night you stayed in the bunker. Lucky you. You know exactly where you are. You are in the arms of the beautiful Sam Winchester, who is still sleeping. Anyway, you are no longer lying on top of him but next to him. But he holds you tightly and you feel his chest touching your back every time he inhales. When he exhales you feel his warm breath against your bare neck. You feel very comfortable remaining in this position.

Nevertheless, you turn around to face him and watching Sam while he sleeps makes turns happy. Gently you brush over his face to put a strand behind his ear. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps. Then, you place a soft kiss on his temple. You just have to kiss this beautiful man in front of you. He opens his eyes slowly and seems a little confused at first. You waked him up like the prince waked up Sleeping Beauty. Sam smiles and kisses you back softly.  
“How long are you watching me sleeping?” he chuckles. His morning voice sounds a little weak, causing you to giggle.  
“Not so long.” You answered and grin. “But I think it’s now my turn to get you some coffee. Just like you did, when I spent my first night in the bunker.”  
“You don’t have to. I...”  
You cut him off, saying “I insist on bringing you some coffee and maybe something to eat.”

You would do anything to see this beautiful face smiling. You jump out of bed, put your clothes on, which you wore the day before and walk straight to the kitchen. You place two cups of coffee and some chocolate cake on a tray. Actually, it’s Dean’s cake. Anyway, he will not notice if you replace it soon. Hopefully...  
You walk quickly to Sam’s room again and his eyes sparkle at the good looking cake.  
“Breakfast in bed? I have never thought that this day will come.” Sam chuckles. He had also put on his clothes. What a shame. You love the sight of his muscle toned torso. However, he takes the tray to make it easier for you to sit down and make yourself comfortable. The cake’s appearance is as good as its taste. And what is better than a cup of hot coffee in the morning?  
After the two of you finished eating, you place the tray on the floor to have enough space to cuddle again. It's going to be a nice day spent in bed. Unless you have to hunt. You beg that you won't be disturbed by anyone. 

Now, Sam lays back and you shift between his stretched legs. You lay your head on his chest and hold his hands close to your body. You could hear Sam’s heart beat, which makes you relax. You nearly fell asleep but then, he asks you: “What is this?”  
Sam points at the scars on your arm. Of course he does know what it is. It’s obvious that these scars are no accident. He knows that only cutting oneself could cause such incisions.  
“What do you mean?” you say and try your best to act as if you are really a little confused. No way. Sam does already sense it.  
He answeres your question, saying “You know exactly what I mean.” The look in his face is now a mixture of concerned and serious.  
“So do you.”  
You beg to escape this conversation. But how? There are lots of things you would like to talk about. You would even prefer talking about his ex girlfriends or such things. But not this. You knew that the time would come that anyone asks you questions about your scars. However, you hoped that it will be in many years. Not now. You aren't prepared for this.

Both of you are quiet for a moment. A long moment, where no words are shared and you don’t dare to look at Sam. You feel ashamed.  
“Sorry I didn’t mean to...” Sam started.  
“It’s okay. I just don’t want to talk about this.” You interrupt him. Sam pulls you a little closer to embrace you. He doesn’t want to talk about your scars if you don’t feel like talking about it. He’s sorry and the long, tight hug shows it clearly. You feel comfortable and safe again. Why don’t you talk to him? He is the only one you really trust. Anyway, you are still a little insecure. You don’t want to be vulnerable. 

It is just like every time when you start to think about why you cut yourself. Your eyes slowly fill with tears and you can barely speak. At the moment being quiet was no problem, since no words were needed. However, Sam could see you struggling to keep yourself from crying. It doesn’t help. One tear after another rolls down your cheeks and falls onto Sam’s shirt. You close your eyes pretending that if you can’t see him, he couldn’t see you, too. You don't want Sam to see you crying or to feel sorry for you. Sam shouldn't worry about what he says. While you are thinking about such things, you feel Sam gently stroking your head and with the other hand he wipes away your tears. Well, wiping away your tears is rather senseless but the gesture was nice and comforting.  
Sam presses a soft kiss on your forehead and whispers to you “I don’t want to see you crying. Please, I need to see this beautiful laugh again. Please, ______.” He begs so sweetly. Though you try to stop it isn’t possible. It isn’t your choice to cry or to be weak. Sometimes it just happens. 

A few minutes and a few sobs later, you manage to put your face away from his chest and wipe away the last tears. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to cry.” You said.  
“There’s no reason for you to be sorry. I just want you to know, that if you want to talk you can always come. If you don’t want to, it’s no problem. I love you either way. You’re simply perfect, ______.” With every word he comes a little closer to you and after the last word his lips met yours. You love the feeling of his soft lips, which fit yours perfectly. You just have to laugh slightly and kiss him once more. A few sweet kisses are shared and you whisper in between “I love you, too, Sam.” He moves a little backwards, still holding you. As he realizes that you are smiling again he smiles, too. 

You really love Sam and now that he said that he loves you too, you feel gorgeous.  
Even though you really trust him, you can’t open to him completely. You are not like an open book. For you, it’s always hard to talk about feelings. You learnt that emotions mean weakness. Sam is not this kind of person. For him it seems natural to talk about feelings, problems etc. You really wish to tell him about your scars. It would make things much easier.

**Author's Note:**

> I will continue this writing very soon (within a few days) ;-)


End file.
